I know not what the new year holds
But I know Who holds my year.
I can't tell which way to take
But with Him I need not fear.
I’ll trust in God and in His Word, I’ll not assume I know what’s best. I’ll ask Him what He’d have me do And He’ll take care of the rest!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
White Coat-itis
Ahhhh. The doctor’s visit is over for another six months. Relief. Peace. A quiet spirit.
No, nothing painful or difficult happens in that office. Unless you count that most dreadful of enemies, the office scale. (Take the shoes off, take the sweater off and wear the lightest clothes you own – that’s bound to make that big number a little lower, right?) No, my nemesis is the blood pressure cuff. For those of us afflicted with “white coat syndrome,” it’s a source of great anxiety.
Whatever my real blood pressure is, it’s not evident when the nurse takes it. The doc has me keep a log in between visits, just to see what the score is when I’m not in her office. And, on my meds, it’s always just fine at the Walmart or Sam’s machines. But push me (drag me, shove me) through the doors of that medical office and plunk me down in the chair and, whoop – those numbers go shooting right up (which, when you think about it really is not so surprising considering that the very first thing they do is weigh a person! Stress inducing for any woman, right? Now that I think of it, maybe they should take the blood pressure first and then tackle the scale!).
All the medical personnel at my doctor’s office are nice people. My doctor is a nice person. As far as I know, they are all capable professionals. I can’t figure out why I have such difficulty with this blood pressure thing, except that to me, it’s a test I just know I’m going to flunk. And I’m a person who would rather not do a thing, than try it and flub it. Not the adventurous sort, me.
Before an appointment I pray.I read Scripture.I do deep breathing exercises. And I do it all again. And again. Today was actually a little better than usual. The red, blotchy “doctor rash” that usually creeps over me like a monster fungus at this time was noticeably absent. But I’m still troubled that I’m troubled.
And then I remember: I’m human. I’m flawed. There are just some things I don’t do at all well. I need Jesus to help me work on those flaws. And maybe, just maybe, I need those flaws to keep me remembering that.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
No, nothing painful or difficult happens in that office. Unless you count that most dreadful of enemies, the office scale. (Take the shoes off, take the sweater off and wear the lightest clothes you own – that’s bound to make that big number a little lower, right?) No, my nemesis is the blood pressure cuff. For those of us afflicted with “white coat syndrome,” it’s a source of great anxiety.
Whatever my real blood pressure is, it’s not evident when the nurse takes it. The doc has me keep a log in between visits, just to see what the score is when I’m not in her office. And, on my meds, it’s always just fine at the Walmart or Sam’s machines. But push me (drag me, shove me) through the doors of that medical office and plunk me down in the chair and, whoop – those numbers go shooting right up (which, when you think about it really is not so surprising considering that the very first thing they do is weigh a person! Stress inducing for any woman, right? Now that I think of it, maybe they should take the blood pressure first and then tackle the scale!).
All the medical personnel at my doctor’s office are nice people. My doctor is a nice person. As far as I know, they are all capable professionals. I can’t figure out why I have such difficulty with this blood pressure thing, except that to me, it’s a test I just know I’m going to flunk. And I’m a person who would rather not do a thing, than try it and flub it. Not the adventurous sort, me.
Before an appointment I pray.I read Scripture.I do deep breathing exercises. And I do it all again. And again. Today was actually a little better than usual. The red, blotchy “doctor rash” that usually creeps over me like a monster fungus at this time was noticeably absent. But I’m still troubled that I’m troubled.
And then I remember: I’m human. I’m flawed. There are just some things I don’t do at all well. I need Jesus to help me work on those flaws. And maybe, just maybe, I need those flaws to keep me remembering that.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Monday, December 26, 2011
Montananana in Wisconsin
Ever since my older of the two grandsons came back to Montana from his Hawaiian birthplace it's been my desire to be a local nana. Week-long drive-in or fly-in visits were fine, but I wanted to experience the "every day-ness" of grandparenting. You know -- the attend the concerts, help in the classroom, drop in for a minute, be there for emergencies sort of grandparenting.
It's been just about a year now that my Montananana adventure began. We own a small house in Livingston, Mt with a great porch that looks out on a spectacular view of the mountains. My two little guys are a 15 minute walk over and a 20 minute walk back (there's a hill that my almost 60 year old self doesn't love to climb). I've been able to read to 2nd graders, take the preschooler to story time and babysit when needed. Great stuff. And I can't say enough about the landscape - I LOVE the West. Yellowstone is an hour away and I've even driven down there twice alone (more fun with my husband -- you can say "look at that why don't you!" and someone might even answer!!).
But it's the "aloneness" that's the problem. Too much of it. My husband's still working in Wisconsin and though we thought we might be able to swing permanent retirement and a complete move to Montana by this summer, the economy and sickly housing market seems to be preventing that. I'll continue to be spending some time in the Badger State and some in Big Sky Country. And this Montananana will be happy with that.
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