A RIOT OF MANNERS

It was a small, handwritten plea, written on a piece of cardboard and taped on  the Walgreen’s checkout counter. “Please do not throw money at the cashier. Kindly hand your money to the cashier. Thank you.” What? What was this all about? I read the request a couple times and then just had to ask about it when I got to the front of the line. “I just wrote it out this morning,” the young clerk explained.  “Were the customers angry?” I asked, as if being upset would justify such behavior. “No,” she replied. “They were just talking to other people and just kind of threw the money at me. I thought it was rather rude and decided to make the sign.”

Well, I guess! We shook our heads together; I told her I was sorry those folks had treated her like that and we commiserated with one another as to the sorry state of manners these days.

And I’ve been ruminating on this ever since. Is it too much to expect a customer to hand their money to the employee? Or at the very least, put it down on the counter? In my mind, the act of throwing cash at a cashier is saying the other person doesn’t matter, that he or she is a mere thing, not a fellow living, breathing human being. It comes down to respect, or the lack of it.

Laurence Sterne said that “respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Robert A. Heinlein expounded further: “A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot...”

I suppose, in the whole scheme of things, the Walgreen’s money-throwing incidents were “minor matters.” They certainly signified “bad manners.” And they surely signaled a “lack of consideration” for the young lady behind the counter. But a “dying culture?”

Marilyn Cabral of Rhode Island told the Today Show that “no one has time to be civil anymore. People are so stressed out and always in such a hurry that politeness is losing its place in our lives.” That would be a shame. When I was young, we were frequently reminded to be kind to others. We were reminded to be polite. “Now what are the magic words?” “Please” and “thank you” were the correct answers, respectful niceties used to navigate in that polite society. Such verbiage used to be required during business transactions, though it seems to have unfortunately often gone by the wayside in favor of non-sensical rejoinders such as “no problem” or “you got it.”

While the Bible might not call it “politeness” or “having manners,” it certainly has plenty to say on how we should be treating one another. “..but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4); “Let brotherly love continue.” (Hebrews 13:1); and perhaps the “granddaddy” of them all, “...As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” Luke 6:31.

As my mother often told me, I can’t help what other people do but I can help what I do. I don’t want polite culture to die, and that starts with me. So, I’m asking the Lord to remind me when I’m acting like I’m more significant than others, to help me treat others with “sisterly” love and to never, ever throw money at anyone standing beside a cash register. I’d like to be part of a riot – a riot of good manners, that is!