Friday, February 28, 2014


BEING THERE

Be there. For members of Beloit Memorial High School’s marching band back in the day, those two small words loomed mighty large. They were painted in 3-foot high letters on the back of the rehearsal room and they were indelibly imprinted in the depths of our brains. This was Don Cuthbert’s band, and you were going to act like it.

Be there meant you were on your mark and you were on time. You wore your black shoes when you marched and you kept your hair up off your collar. Your lines were straight and you knew your part (or you’d wish you did!). If you wanted to be a part of Mr. Cuthbert’s band you did what you were supposed to do when you were supposed to do it. If not, you’d better have a good reason (and there were, as was well known, no such things as “good” excuses!).

We might have balked at some of the rules and demands, but we all knew that we wouldn’t get desired results if we didn’t all fulfill our commitment to our director and to the band as a whole. The “C” in Mr. “C” might as well have stood for commitment as well as Cuthbert, for he taught that as much as he did music.

As a former footballer himself, I’m pretty certain Mr. C. agreed with another “be there” sort of guy, the Green Bay Packer legend Vince Lombardi. Lombardi opined that “Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”


My parents would have been in good company with the bandmaster and the football man, for they were interested in preparing their children to work well in the family, on a team and in society. If you started a project, well then – you’d best finish it! If you promised to do something, then it should be done – and in the time allotted as well. No finking out, no fooling or fudging. Mom and Dad wanted their kids to be people of honor and integrity, people on whom others could count.

The Bible teaches commitment, for sure – first and foremost to God Himself, the original author of being there. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37-38). God was and is there for us and one way we demonstrate this kind of love for Him is by being there for those He created.

Considering the state commitment seems to be in today, what with divorces, defaults and the general decline of doing what was promised, perhaps we would do well to perform a regular check on the state of our “being there:”

●Keep a running inventory of the status of our promises. Norman Vincent Peale once quipped that “promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.” 

●Pray before we promise. Think about it first. Can we/will we follow through? Since we know we don’t like to be disappointed, we can safely assume others feel the same if we disappoint.  Abraham Lincoln had some pretty good advice on this matter: “We must not promise what we ought not, lest we be called on to perform what we cannot.”

●How often are we there at church? How about our Bible reading, time spent communing with the One we should love with all heart and soul and mind? Graham County United Methodist Parish in Hill City, KS once asked its flock, “Just suppose people were as enthusiastic about church events as they are about sporting events. Would there not be a marked difference in the life of the church? Just suppose that every member of the church attended as often as you. Would (it) need more seating or would the building be closed and put up for sale?” We cannot function properly alone. The Lone Ranger is a fictional character. We need the One Who made us, we need His Word and we need His people.

●And when we're ‘there,” no matter where there is and with whom it is, are we there? Do we listen? Are we attentive, in tune, fully present?

Ach! So much to this “being there” business! I guess there was a reason those letters in the band room were so big!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:5, 6

Sunday, February 23, 2014

A RIOT OF MANNERS




It was a small, handwritten plea, written on a piece of cardboard and taped on  the Walgreen’s checkout counter. “Please do not throw money at the cashier. Kindly hand your money to the cashier. Thank you.” What? What was this all about? I read the request a couple times and then just had to ask about it when I got to the front of the line. “I just wrote it out this morning,” the young clerk explained.  “Were the customers angry?” I asked, as if being upset would justify such behavior. “No,” she replied. “They were just talking to other people and just kind of threw the money at me. I thought it was rather rude and decided to make the sign.”


Well, I guess! We shook our heads together; I told her I was sorry those folks had treated her like that and we commiserated with one another as to the sorry state of manners these days.


And I’ve been ruminating on this ever since. Is it too much to expect a customer to hand their money to the employee? Or at the very least, put it down on the counter? In my mind, the act of throwing cash at a cashier is saying the other person doesn’t matter, that he or she is a mere thing, not a fellow living, breathing human being. It comes down to respect, or the lack of it.


Laurence Sterne said that “respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Robert A. Heinlein expounded further: “A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot...”


I suppose, in the whole scheme of things, the Walgreen’s money-throwing incidents were “minor matters.” They certainly signified “bad manners.” And they surely signaled a “lack of consideration” for the young lady behind the counter. But a “dying culture?”


Marilyn Cabral of Rhode Island told the Today Show that “no one has time to be civil anymore. People are so stressed out and always in such a hurry that politeness is losing its place in our lives.” That would be a shame. When I was young, we were frequently reminded to be kind to others. We were reminded to be polite. “Now what are the magic words?” “Please” and “thank you” were the correct answers, respectful niceties used to navigate in that polite society. Such verbiage used to be required during business transactions, though it seems to have unfortunately often gone by the wayside in favor of non-sensical rejoinders such as “no problem” or “you got it.”


While the Bible might not call it “politeness” or “having manners,” it certainly has plenty to say on how we should be treating one another. “..but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4); “Let brotherly love continue.” (Hebrews 13:1); and perhaps the “granddaddy” of them all, “...As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” Luke 6:31.

As my mother often told me, I can’t help what other people do but I can help what I do. I don’t want polite culture to die, and that starts with me. So, I’m asking the Lord to remind me when I’m acting like I’m more significant than others, to help me treat others with “sisterly” love and to never, ever throw money at anyone standing beside a cash register. I’d like to be part of a riot – a riot of good manners, that is!












Friday, February 14, 2014

VALENTINE'S DAY


Valentine's Day. Some love it, some hate it, and for others - they can take it or leave it. I take it, but as with most things, just my way.

Me, I am not a hearts and flowers type of girl. Roses, tulips, lilies - all are pretty, but they don't float my boat. I'd rather look at them waving their pretty blooms at me from outside on a glorious sunny day rather than overpriced and wilting in a container.

Chocolates in a lace-trimmed heart box? Ehh, not that either. I would just eat them, I don't really need to eat them and there's not a doubt that I'd finish off all the good ones: the milk chocolates with the creamy white stuff inside, or the peanuts or the caramel or the butter brickle. Those, yes, those I'd scarf. No dark chocolate, though - nyet, nein,non and no. Oh, and absolutely NO coconut of any kind. Shudder.

OK, then. How about a fancy dinner out at some high end, trendy spot? On Valentine's Day? So many folks, so much money, and so often not such good food. Besides, you know what? I'm not a fan of what is known in our family-speak as "shi-shi, la-la" menu items that have to be explained, are all sauced-up, pretentious and cause my very simple palate to cringe. Nope, not eating that green stringy stuff or any of those creatures who were formerly good swimmers. All my entrees used to moo, oink or cluck and not a one of them needs to ever cost more than $10-$15. Besides, as good intentioned as the restaurant waitstaff may be, I don't relish being asked 4-5 times during my meal if everything is OK. I will let you know if it isn't.

That leaves jewelry. Ah, yes. If jewelry is "hearts and flowers," then I take it back. I guess I AM a hearts and flowers type of girl. I like the costume stuff and I like the good stuff. I like the sparkly stuff, the silver stuff and the gold stuff, the red ones, the blue ones and especially the ones that are known as a girl's best friend. The only kind I don't care for are those baubles grown in the sea (remember that issue I have with eating aquatic things? don't like pearly things, either). My husband knows this and has gifted me over the years with a beautiful bauble collection. As I write, I'm wearing the diamond heart pendant he proudly proffered one long ago Valentine's Day; I showed it off to the Kindergarteners I read to today - the little girls were suitably impressed! I treasure every piece he's ever given and look forward to passing all of it on to my kids some day.

But when I stop to ponder - and pondering is good for the soul, I believe - I realize that some of the best Valentine-y things I've been given aren't really things at all.

Happy Faces: I loved how much fun we used to have each February 14 when our girls were little, drinking our pink-tinged milk or jazzed up red Kool-Aid at Valentine's Day supper, eating our rosey-colored yeast rolls with our heart-shaped meatloaf (it's even fun to hear them gag today as they reminisce about those long ago ketchup-slathered things!);

Glue-y Art Projects: Those first "I Love You, Mom's" crayon-scrawled on pink construction paper, lop-sided hearts attached with way too much sticky stuff. I still have some. I wouldn't sell them, but I'll tell you, if you asked to buy them they'd cost more money than you've got.

Acts of Love: I didn't get a hearts and flowers marriage proposal (hmmm, did I even get an official proposal??) but I sure got a marriage. A long one - 42 years at last count. I got faithful. I got hard working. I got honorable. I got generous. I got God-honoring. I got 3 beautiful daughters. I got a great son-in-law and 3 adorable grandchildren. I got a man who, because he didn't want me to have to spend 12 days out here in Montana without a car at my disposal, left Wisconsin at 4:00am and drove a straight shot 20 hours west, leaving the car he best likes to drive here for me; he then flew back two days later and has to tool around (or slide around, actually, since we are up to our eyeballs in winter this year) in the little car. Now, THAT'S a Valentine!

Some say Valentine's Day is a made up holiday. It's too much pressure. It's fake. It's too hard on those without "significant others." But I say Valentine's Day is a reminder. It's a nudge. It's an opportunity. It's a chance to tell those who share your life, whether at home or school or church or work or those who just cross your path during the day - that they matter. That they really matter. And more than tell, to show. With simple words, simple things, in simple ways or even in grandiose gestures, if that gets your (and their!) motor running.

Tonight part of my family will be with me and part not. Two of the smallest parts requested spaghetti and tomato soup for supper. Simple and kind of Valentine-y red, don't you think?  The two little guys who requested that menu matter to me, and I'm going to show them that they do. Happy Valentine's Day!


1 John 4:9-11 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.






Sunday, February 2, 2014

Presidents' Day


Happy Presidents’ Day on February 17! If you are a federal government employee, this day is for you!

Celebrated each 3rd Monday in February, Presidents’ Day was originally established in 1885 to recognize the nation’s very first president, George Washington (your calendar might even still say it’s Presidents’ Day and Washington’s birthday). Washington was really born on February 22, but the holiday was moved to its present day in 1971 as part of the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which created more 3-day weekends for the nation’s workers. Several states still have separate holidays honoring Washington and Abraham Lincoln (whose birthday is February 12) but Presidents’ Day now celebrates all presidents, past and present—February birthdays or not (Ronald Reagan also had a February birthday, on the 6th). Hmmm...and there was one more February chief executive. It was...it was...it was...William Henry Harrison. Who?


Yes. William Henry Harrison (2/9). He was the ninth (president), first (president to die in office), oldest (person to be elected president, at 68, before Ronald Reagan, who was 69), shortest (term—served only 32 days) and last (president born as a British subject before American independence). He was a husband, a father (10 children), a government servant, a military general and war hero, county official, Ohio state lawmaker, US congressman, senator and diplomat. He won the presidency in 1840 and was inaugurated on a nasty, frigid March 4, 1841. His inaugural address lasted a long two hours, which he delivered without wearing an overcoat in an effort to prove his vim and vigor, despite all the negativity surrounding his “advanced age.” He caught cold, developed pneumonia and died just a month later on April 4, 1841.  His wife never even saw the White House. Because of his term’s brevity, he is the only president who never appointed a single federal judge at any level; no states were admitted to the Union while he was president. The Huffington Post called him a “lesser presidential light” and it was also said that he was “not the best president, but not the worst.” Let’s just say he was never seriously considered as Mt. Rushmore material. Nonetheless, he will still be one of the February 17 Presidents Day honorees.

Kind of like me, and maybe you. I’ll never be queen, never be a famous missionary in a foreign land. Gaston and Section school parent groups were as far up the presidency ladder as I’ll ever get. But one day I’ll be honored as a new resident of heaven and gifted with my very own mansion. My neighbors will all be saints and I’ll have all the riches I could ever want. I won’t be sick, I won’t be sad and I’ll converse with the Creator of the universe. Isaiah 55 tells me to “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat!” John 1:12 promises, “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” Doesn’t matter if I’m the best, or the worst. Just matters that I’m His.